Seven Reasons Trump Should Annex Greenland
European "allies" must apologize for their imperialism and anti-Americanism
In this 250th anniversary year of the USA’s existence since our Declaration of Independence from the British Empire, President Donald Trump has recognized the importance of liberating another land from corrupt, imperialist, and incompetent European rule: what will soon be American Greenland.
On Monday, Trump remarked, “I’d love to make a deal with them. It would make things easier. But one way or the other, we’re going to have Greenland.”
There are many reasons Trump is right and should move expeditiously to conclude this act. Here are seven:
A glance at the globe shows Greenland’s geostrategic importance in defending against prospective Chinese and Russian threats to North America. As the world benefits from natural climate change, which currently exhibits a warming trend, the Arctic will be less of a wasteland, more economically productive, and an important route for trading energy products.
Europeans don’t know how to handle China or Russia. They line up to kiss China’s ring: Britain’s and Canada’s leaders are set imminently to supplicate to Xi Jinping in Beijing. Britain is set to allow a Chinese “mega-embassy” in London that will be a center for Chinese espionage.
It is America’s manifest destiny to alleviate squalor and misuse in our near-abroad strategic areas. America’s GDP per capita is $85,000. Denmark’s is $71,000. Greenland’s is only $58,000. This is a sad state of affairs for a land rich in natural resources. American capital and engineering know-how—and the free access to the U.S. market that would accompany union—would elevate the people of Greenland dramatically.
Greenland can be secured with minimal military damage. It would be best for Greenland to become a U.S. territory or commonwealth through amicable agreement, but European agitation against the United States has now made this harder. If voluntary union is not immediately possible, then the colonial capital of Nuuk and other towns—with most of Greenland’s small population of 57,000—can be isolated rather than occupied.
The administration is sharpening its case to the people of Greenland. Tom Dans, Trump’s Arctic commissioner, recently remarked, “We need to get the people of Greenland on board.” Trump officials have considered lump-sum payments to Greenlanders, disintermediating Danish leeches. This idea should be developed further into Alaska-style trust funds for Greenland families to benefit from royalties from oil and gas production and mining—backstopped by a generous guaranteed minimum amount within five years of becoming a U.S. territory or commonwealth. Additional sweeteners could include Puerto Rico–style exemption from U.S. income taxes and Indian-reservation-style control of local affairs, with limitations on immigration into traditional Greenland communities.
The Danes and their European friends keep telling us what great allies they are. They even say they helped in Iraq and Afghanistan. Oddly, when I was at the State Department during crises in both locations, I never heard anyone say, “Thank God the Danes are with us!” If Denmark and other members of NATO are ever going to graduate beyond a collection of mooching, arrogant losers, they must recognize reality. Annexing Greenland will help with this realignment of self-perception.
Europe must be made to atone for its insolence toward Trump and the United States and its disgusting imperialist past, a responsibility it is shirking as it irrationally advocates for continued Danish imperial control. France, Britain, Germany, and Italy recently criticized Trump in a formal letter—sheer hypocrisy and nonsense. French imperialism bequeathed the United States the Vietnam War and genocide in Cambodia; it also produced the perpetually failed nation of Haiti. Britain just gave away the territory of Diego Garcia, which hosts an important U.S. air base. During World War II, Britain connived to delay D-Day so it could misdirect U.S. men and materiel—diverted from the Pacific War—to preserve London’s Mediterranean path to India and other imperial possessions while the Soviets lost millions fighting Hitler alone. Speaking of which, Germany started two world wars, or three if one counts the Franco-Prussian War, which I do. Italy colonized Somalia, which is even worse than Haiti. Accepting shame for this legacy and ceasing criticism of the United States, which has defended Europe for decades, would be a start.
As Albert Beveridge asked in his 1898 speech, “March of the Flag”:
Shall the American people continue their resistless march toward the commercial supremacy of the world? Shall free institutions broaden their blessed reign as the children of liberty wax in strength, until the empire of our principles is established over the hearts of all mankind? Have we no mission to perform, no duty to discharge to our fellow man?
The American Greenland project is primarily about national security and economic advancement. But it is also symbolic that, on America’s 250th birthday, our ambitions and gallant striving for greatness will again be unconfined. Adding Greenland to America would make the United States the second-largest country in the world, behind only Russia, and would be an important symbol of America’s great restoration. It could presage the expansion or restoration of American sovereignty elsewhere, such as the Panama Canal, Alberta, and an eventual American colony on the Moon before China gets there. Trump understands this. Now is the time to operationalize his vision.
From the Archive
“WHITON: What If Greenland Wants Trump More Than It Wants Denmark?”
The Daily Caller, August 22, 2019
Christian White-on? If this were a character's name in a novel we would say it was too on the nose.
We cannot allow a Greenland Shark gap. They have antifreeze blood. And can live over 400 years.